Coping with Banal Change

Normally, new eras begin with some sort of excitement, right? A revolution perhaps. Maybe some sort of cataclysmic event. That's the theory, I suppose, but in practice, boredom infiltrates everything in life leaving only an abstract idea of excitement. Not following me? Remember the scene from Big Trouble in Little China where they're about to fight the main bad guy and a pumped up Kurt Russell and his team of fighters run into the elevator only to endure a several minutes of painful and awkward waiting? Never seen the cult classic? Okay, how about the scene in Swingers where they drive to Las Vegas? Ah, now you're with me.

I'm reminded of the first day of college or the day I left for China. These should be pretty exciting events, but I seem to remember arriving in my dorm, unpacking and staring at a wall for a while with the former and a 24-hour plane trip with the later. I mean, I was "excited" in some sort of overall sense just as I'm "happy" with my car, I guess.

Still, I suppose the abstract is better than nothing. Most people have very boring lives. They work a job, watch some TV, drink some alcohol, occasionally have sex and go to sleep. Oh wait, that's me (without the sex part). At least I can list off a few things that sound good when acquaintances ask "so, what you been up to,".

Why all this talk about change and boredom? Well, I have entered a new era of my existence yet it feels a lot like the old. I quit my job at Social Security and have begun one at Homeland Security. The only different so far between the two is that I'm not supposed to discuss the details of my new job (which happens to be sitting in a cube surfing the net and killing time). When, I tell people about my new job, the usual response is "wow, that must be interesting!". Yes, I suppose...in the abstract.

Also in the massive change department is breaking up with my girlfriend of two years. I wish I had an interesting story about the break up, but it's basically I loved her, but didn't want to marry her and felt we were wasting time. The usual response from people is "hmmm, makes sense,". Now, some may think that single life is fun and exciting. I refer to those people as delusional idiots. Single life is lonely, and when it's not lonely, its shallow, and when it's not shallow, its disingenuous, and then its not any of those three, its not single life any more.

Perhaps it's really impossible to feel entertained all the time. The body must have some sort of reaction to events that dulls the senses. Doctors and cops get used to blood, death and tragedy. Still, that seems to happen after repeated exposure. I haven't change jobs or ended relationships enough for me to be numb to that. What I'm feeling seems to be another phenomenon that deals with bracing for events. I read that when people are polled about coming tragedies or excitement, they tend to expect them to be worse or better than they are. Apparently the mind braces for events to prevent shock or to maintain a rational thinking mind. This is why people never have a good time at New Years or feel guilty about not feeling bad enough when their friends and family die. Basically, anticlimacticism is biologically programmed.

So, in end, despite ones best effort to create excitement in one's life on a day to day level, it is useless. You'll either brace yourself for the results or become numb to it over time. What can one do? Well, I can think of three solutions to create excitement and happiness in life. I'm not sure which is most effective.

• Become dumb to lower your own expectations. This can be achieved through heavy drinking, drug use or simply letting go and allowing oneself to drift in the ether of mainstream society. Do you read Maxim or watch Smackdown? You're already there. Great job! Soon you'll be talking about all the excitement you had clubbing and how you'd so do that girl at the gym.
• Focus on the abstract and the long term. Don't ask yourself what you did last Tuesday; ask yourself what you did last year. Don't tell people what you do at your job; tell them what your team does or what your company does. See, now you're important.
• Quixotically try to add excitement through new experiences. Yes, its bound to fail, but at least you'll have some stories to tell and you'll probably meet some people. Misery loves company at all.