Maturity

Human beings grow and develop. At least, they’re supposed to. Still, despite the increased aches and the decreased hair on my head, I still feel like a boy in many respects. That’s a good thing, though. There are still things to learn and experiences to be had.

I imagine we all feel this sense of immaturity. It explains why many of us act “mature” instead of acting like Peter Pan. When people are 14, they want to drive. When they are 18, they want to go to bars. Then they want to live on their own, buy their own place, get married and have kids. Everyone is looking for the next step up to prove that they are an adult.

“Maturity,” though, seems to be largely an exercise in conforming to social norms. In America, people that live with their parents are seen as immature, but globally, this is the norm. An unmarried twenty-somethinger is immature in the Middle East, but normal in DC. Unlike fruits, maturity in humans is sometimes very much based on perception.

Some of these social norms are logical. Much of maturity is about taking on more responsibility. Earning one’s own wage and learning new skills are unarguably more mature than not doing so. I wonder, though, how many of these new responsibilities are taken on purely for the social perception. Would more Americans live with their family if it were not so embarrassing?

Perceived maturity is also about ceasing activities. Teenagers no longer play with toys. Forty-somethingers no longer dance on tables at bars. People like to “act their age” which includes shying away from activities associated with the younger.

The primary advantage of ushering out the old is that it frees time so that one can replace it with a better activity. For instance, I used to ride a bike, but stopped when I got a car. Playing with toys was replaced with sports and worrying about girls. My parents don’t play video games because they prefer to garden. Many grow from selfishly hording like a child to being noble and charitable in their old age.

Many people, though, get the maturity thing wrong. Many people stop going out only to replace their activities with T.V. watching or shopping. Social juvenile activities are replaced with anti-social crosswords, knitting or golfing. Perhaps these activities are actually more fun than what the individual was doing before, but somehow I doubt it.

Maturity is supposed to be about gaining something. The young can be incredibly tedious to talk to because they have little life experience and knowledge. But, I’m finding many of the old are also tedious to talk to because their “maturity” was an empty act of ending activity rather than changing activity.

Society is not incorrect in demanding maturity. Maturity is about responsibility, enrichment and trying new things. It is too bad that so many people choose to like the dead in order to seem mature rather than to act like the growing.