The Trials of an American Dilettante

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Options and Commitment

Say you were offered $100 million in exchange for never seeing a sunrise again. Many of us would say no. Yet, how many more sunrises are we really going to see? Twenty? Thirty? We’ve all seen sunrises. They’re okay. Worth millions of dollars a piece? Probably not. Still, the thought of never seeing a sunrise again is horrific. Nonetheless, tomorrow we will probably sleep and miss yet another one.

This fear of limitation is the heart of fear of commitment. The thought of the rest of our lives without certain opportunities is scary. Even when the opportunities are unlikely to be taken, we still dislike them being taken away. We like to keep options open as options represent hope, even if it is false hope.

This fear of limitation is immense. It reminds us of our shortcomings and our mortality. It reminds us of the ticking clock on our lives. This is why people that commit are considered tough.

How does one commit? How does one get a tattoo, get married or become a suicide bomber? How does one overcome all of that fear? Does the joy or principle of a commitment overcome the fear of limitation? Perhaps, but it is more likely something else.

The Japanese samurai had “Bushido,” the way of the warrior. It involved the virtues of rectitude, courage, benevolence, respect, honesty, honor and loyalty. These virtues, despite being incredibly redundant, helped the warrior be a better fighter. By not thinking about self gain and self worth, the warrior could overcome the fear of death (the ultimate limitation) and enter battle without hesitation.

Zen Buddhism came to Japan and the samurai quickly adopted it. The world, including death, was an illusion. By not thinking at all, the samurai come become an even better fighter.

In the end, commitment isn’t about weighing choices and opting for limitation, it’s about not thinking at all. It is about putting the fear of limitation out of mind. This is why it is the young an rash who end up getting tatoos, dying in wars and eloping. Those who are thoughtful understand costs of actions. Those who are thoughtful certainly aren’t tough.

Not thinking isn’t necessarily a bad thing. This fear of limitation is just as irrational as the desire to commit. Putting it out of mind can be to ones advantage. We have to put death and fear of injury out of mind every time we leave the house. Additionally, there is nothing more pathetic than a 45-year-old who isn’t ready to get married.

Also, if someone offers you a $100 million to give up sunrises, you should probably take it.

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