Understanding the Opposite Sex

Last week, I was taking the bus back from New York and was struck by what I saw next to me. I was sitting next to a rather thuggish looking black male, perhaps 19-years-old, reading a romance novel.

“What are you reading?” I asked in disbelief.
“Oh, this?” he said “I read these to understand women better.”
“Really?”
“No, no, it really helps in understanding how the female brain works.”

I then told him about this fellow I met in my travels:

When I was in Laos, I met this Canadian guy who assured me he knew two words that would lay any woman. Two words? Naturally, I didn’t believe him. I asked what they were, but he wouldn’t tell me. He said that if he revealed what the two words were so easily, I wouldn’t take them to heart. I asked him to tell me a few more times in that verbal arm-twisting sort of way (“aw, come on”), but he was tight lipped. I ran into him the next day and asked again, but he still wouldn’t tell me. I ran into him on a third day and only because he was leaving that day, he reluctantly revealed to me what they were. You are lucky I’m not as tenacious as this fellow; it certainly was annoying. Likewise, because I am revealing the two words so easily, you almost certainly will not take them to heart. Whatever, here goes.

Word #1: Wow
Word #2: Really

Yes, those were the words I had annoyed a man for three days to tell me. In those words, though, there comes a powerful message. People tend to think that if they tell others about themselves, people will become interested in them and connect with them. This is actually backwards. People connect with people who they think understand them which happens to be those who listen to them.

The Canadian man was wise, but he was off slightly since his idea was merely superficial. “Wow” and “really” were only pretending to listen. This may work in the short run (to get into someone’s pants), but in the long run, there must be genuine listening.

And so I told the young man on the bus that understanding women isn’t that difficult. All you have to do is ask questions and listen to them. They’re certainly willing to speak.

Of course, that was a complete lie. After countless hours of listening to women, I have no clue what they’re thinking. I just wanted the kid on the bus to stop wasting time reading romance novels.