Having a Tumor Removed and then Having it Put Back in Your Skull

Today, my mind is empty.

This isn’t empty in a bad way. I don’t have writer’s block and I don’t feel stupid. I don’t feel like I have Alzheimer’s and I don’t feel vacuous. My mind just feels at ease. You know, like lying on clean sheets naked after a good shit, shower and shave. The best word to describe my feeling is “flushed”. Yes, vacation has given my mind an enema and the horrid negative stress, hopelessness, insecurity, and hatred are gone…for the moment, at least.

I’ve been down this road before. You get back feeling well rested and soon things return to normal oh too quickly like a back pain after a massage or a fight with a girlfriend after making up. Soon, that feeling of I-just-fucking-had-a-vacation-and-I-feel-this-crappy will probably overtake me.

For now, though, I’ll enjoy the peace.

And it is peaceful. In fact, many times when one returns from a trip, one must catch up on all of the things that have changed since one has been gone. Luckily, nothing has changed (other than one of my major projects at work getting cancelled, Nepal’s king dissolving parliament and some meaningless election in Iraq). I was thinking I would have a pile of mail to go through, but I found only about forty pieces of junk mail in Outlook with nothing addressed specifically to me. While I was away, the world forgot about me, which is kind of nice, I suppose.

And that is the whole trick to inner peace (at least according to Buddha and Tyler Durden). The more things to care about, the more things to worry about. Achieving the things you desire is like trying to quench thirst with seawater. The things you own end up owning you. It’s only when you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.

When one limits their worldly possessions and activities, one becomes closer to enlightenment. The best way to limit them is to escape, travel or goof off.

So, congratulations. You're one step closer to hitting bottom.