Destiny

Samantha and I had been putting off having a drink for years. Like New Yorkers who go their whole lives without ever seeing the Statue of Liberty, we always figured we'd get around to it, but ultimately never had. With my departure for Jordan coming, we finally sat down together for a palaver, for really the first and probably the last time.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"Overwhelmed.   It's amazing how many occurrences and how many relations can come crushing down on me in the last two weeks.  Of all the times for them to happen, why now? Why not months ago when I could handle them better?"

Samantha answered destiny, which I, of course, rejected.  Being an ardent agnostic, I certainly couldn't accept that, in an infinite universe, God or the Fates gave two shits about my petty life and were steering it.  I shared my analogy of the universe and the soccer field (if you know me, you've probably heard it) and my analogy of China and the hereafter (again, you've probably heard it).  I explained that the universe is vast and no one can possible understand it.   Destiny implies that humans can actually observe patterns in the chaos.

"But you feel it."

"Yeah, but I don't believe in patriotism yet I still feel something when the national anthem plays.  We draw lines where they don't exist."

Samantha then told a story.  At her old job, there was a fellow no one liked much.  He was quiet, arrogant and rude.  In a work intro session, he was asked to tell everyone something about himself that no one knew.  He said that he had inventions that one day would make him rich.

People snickered at the man, but Samantha thought it was telling.  Maybe he was deluded, but every person has hope for the future and believes they will be important.  Believing that tomorrow will be better (that is - having hope) and believing there is something we are working towards that implies that we do observe patterns.  We all believe in destiny just by striving.

Turning destiny on its head like that was interesting for me.  Rather than it being part of an objective plan, maybe destiny is completely personal and subjective.  Yes, destiny is probably imagined and certainly self-aggrandizing, but at the same time necessary for our existence.  We see a plan that we must follow and it causes us to be resilient, persevere and improve.