The Flexibility of Emotion

I stood in a stairwell today and listened to a coworker as she wept. Every day her manager treats her horribly. If it were just one day, it would have been tolerable, but it is every day and the misery was building. Today, the straw broke the camel's back and waterworks came out. Later, she was embarrassed that she let it get to her. After all, it was just minor meanness from an asshole over time. Other people have it much, much worse.

We have all been there. We get upset about something that doesn't deserve the time or attention. We feel ashamed about our lack of strength over things that are objectively trivial. We also feel guilty that others have it worse and somehow still cope. The comic above concisely shows this. The woman is upset about lost love, which when compared to starvation, is absolutely meaningless. The man highlights the relative weakness and self-centeredness of the woman (who is really us).

But it's not really fair.

An old friend used to joke that no matter what the size of the suitcase, ones clothes expand to fill it, making closing a suitcase always an arduous task.

Our emotions are the same way. No matter if one's life is trivial (a large suitcase) or important (a small suitcase) objectively, our emotions fill still that life. Keeping our emotions at bay is always difficult.

Childhood is good example. Though people claim that childhood is a carefree time, it is simply not the case. I remember anxiety about toys, friends, cartoons and siblings. I remember completely losing it when my sister wouldn't let me into a cushion fort or when my brother stole a comic book of mine. In pre-school, I remember balling when my turn was skipped to lead the class to the lunchroom. Looking back, it was idiotic to act that way, but there is no doubt I felt those emotions with intensity.

My co-worker was in genuine pain as is the Indian woman who lost love (well, if she were real). It would nice if we could get our subconscience mind to instantationessly have an objective, worldly perspective, but we are mere humans who selfishly care about our subjective local lives. While perhaps the justification for feeling pain is suspect when compared to something like starvation, the feeling is without-a-doubt real.