Ethiopia

Off the plane at 4 am, I befriended some Germans and got a crappy room in a Addis Ababa. The next day, some Ethiopian youths befriended us, much to my dismay. Though their intentions were to clearly take us around and have the locations charge us massive amounts, the Germans thought it was good entertainment and didn't mind. We first checked out the market, which was pretty insane even by Africa standards. Then, we ended up in a "chut" house, chewing the weed of Ethiopia that everyone wastes their fortunes on. It didn't really do anything for me, and, of course, the bill was enormous by African standards ($25 per foreigner). Later that evening we danced and various Ethiopians, both male and female alike, got close enough to me for it to be awkward.

Addis is dirty, poor and surprisingly cold. Prositutes line the streets in hijabs, which I guess keeps them warm, unless they are all Muslims. Homeless and begger children are everywhere and it takes being a cold-hearted jerk to get them to go away. I decided to get away from the city and headed east.

Ethiopia opened up into endless greenery and I made it to Debre Zeit where I went for a walk around the local lakes. Some guys who claimed to be 22, but looked more like 16, befriended me and asked me about my life. I lied and said I was an English teacher and we talked about how great Ethiopia was and their faith in God. We departed on good terms; I even gave one my e-mail address. 15 minutes later, though, they were back. The frowns on their faces gave everything away. They wanted to rob me.

"Give us your money!" one said.

Normally, I run in situations like this and I'm not sure what got into me. Perhaps it was the betrayal or perhaps it was just that they were unarmed. I puffed up my chest, put on the craziest face I could and yelled:

"I will fucking KILL you!"

Two started to run away. The third picked up a large rock and so I did the same. He threw it and ran. I thought it missed me, but I have a bruise today. An Ethiopian family passed by the men (boys?) as they ran away. When the family got to me, I felt like I needed to justify the the still angry and crazy face I wore.

"They tried to rob me."
"Sorry"

I got in a series of slow-moving minibuses with a baby always plobbed in my lap. Over the course of 12 hours ameliorated by epic scenery, I finally got to Harar. Harar is a walled Muslim city in the east that was once a mighty trading center. It was bumping from Ramadan, which was nice since I'm not yet comfortable walking around the poorly lit cities of Ethiopia at night, knowing that people do, in fact, rob foreigners. I had heard about hyenas in Harar so I grabbed a local boy and asked him to take me to the feeding ground. There were dozens of massive hyenas creepily lurking in the field. The man there would put raw meat on a stick and the beasts would rip the meat from his hands, and eventually my hands. To put it dumbly - it was cool.

The next day I got a quick tour of the city from a local kid. The Muslims in Ethiopia wear the most vibrant and colorfull hijabs and abayas. Nearly every square of the city got pretty excited about my entry. They clearly don't get that many foreigners. Unfortunately, they get enough that the standard response is putting their hand out for a hand out. Literally, hundreds of people asked me for money in Harar. It got old fast.

I headed to Dire Dawa, where I just wanted to get to the airport, but was pleasantly surprised to find a mass of Christian women in white hijabs praying (like Muslims do) towards the local church. A Christian call-to-prayer blared from the church speakers. I peaked inside in the gates and saw the men. Yup, gender-segregated with men up front and women in the back. It was the most Muslim-like Christian display I had ever seen.

On the way to the airport, a couple of mentally ill started following me and eventually they were shooed away by a 16-year-old boy who wanted to be my guide. Surprisingly, a tuck-tuck drove up, two guys got out and punched the boy in the face.

"He's a thief" they said before driving away.

Weirded out, I decided to grab a tuck-tuck myself to the airport instead of walking. The boy started screaming at me wanting "his money for helping me." I tried to explain that he didn't do anything, but I eventually just ordered the driver to go. Weirdness.

Back in Addis. Ug.