Cavemen Versus Astronauts
Society is riddled with long-standing debates about how would win hypothetical battles. Some ask who the greatest president was while others inquire about the identity of history’s greatest rocker. Space battles are contemplated between Star Destroyers and Galaxy Class Starships and people wonder about who would in a fight between a Wookie and Klingon. Perhaps the greatest “versus” debate is also the most basic: the cavemen versus the astronauts.
On the one hand, we have something primal and savage with brutal animal instinct. On the other, we have individuals who are bigger, smarter and are able to use teamwork. Man has evolved, but perhaps only into namby-pamby, self-analyzing “wankers”. Then again, the aggressive early man is also riddled with superstitious terror.
This isn’t just a question about which is a better potential Halloween costume; this is a question about the direction of mankind.
With all the years that mankind has had to overcome the evil of the past, has it improved? I think most of us would say yes. We live longer and healthier lives. Less of us live in poverty and more of us have opportunity. We have banned slavery, halted most disease and have put an end to most war. People are more equal in the eyes of each other and are less likely to slit their brothers’ throats.
Still, the evil of the past is ever present and perhaps growing. Entertainment tells us to embrace the violence, machismo and materialism of the past. Religion tells us to reject science and to fear the future. Libertarians tell us to throw away teamwork in the name of self-sufficiency. The cavemen’s call is relentless and the astronauts’ numbers grow slim.
After all of the training to be physically fit, after all of the studying of science and truth, after all the cooperation with others and caring about their fate as one’s own, it can all be ripped apart by the beast within. Twenty thousand years of civilization toppled by barbaric idiots with the savage ambition.
Of course the cavemen win.
On the one hand, we have something primal and savage with brutal animal instinct. On the other, we have individuals who are bigger, smarter and are able to use teamwork. Man has evolved, but perhaps only into namby-pamby, self-analyzing “wankers”. Then again, the aggressive early man is also riddled with superstitious terror.
This isn’t just a question about which is a better potential Halloween costume; this is a question about the direction of mankind.
With all the years that mankind has had to overcome the evil of the past, has it improved? I think most of us would say yes. We live longer and healthier lives. Less of us live in poverty and more of us have opportunity. We have banned slavery, halted most disease and have put an end to most war. People are more equal in the eyes of each other and are less likely to slit their brothers’ throats.
Still, the evil of the past is ever present and perhaps growing. Entertainment tells us to embrace the violence, machismo and materialism of the past. Religion tells us to reject science and to fear the future. Libertarians tell us to throw away teamwork in the name of self-sufficiency. The cavemen’s call is relentless and the astronauts’ numbers grow slim.
After all of the training to be physically fit, after all of the studying of science and truth, after all the cooperation with others and caring about their fate as one’s own, it can all be ripped apart by the beast within. Twenty thousand years of civilization toppled by barbaric idiots with the savage ambition.
Of course the cavemen win.
posted by American Dilettante at
2:05 PM
2 Comments:
Galaxy class would whip a Star Destroyer because the Federation ship would be using stronger phaser-based technology, while the SD would be using turbolasers.
Astronauts beat the cavemen because most people don't want to live like cavemen. The only ones who would are the cavemen. And they are whiny mo-fos so they seem to be gaining in popularity just because they are louder. Don't mistake steam for smoke.
By
The Rogue Progressive, at 6:03 PM
TV: Geico.com, so simple even a caveman could use it.
Caveman: That's really condescending.
If you put them both on a barren plain with no tools, the caveman would DESTROY the astronaut. Especially if he's given enough time to fashion some stone tools.
By
mizerock, at 5:47 PM
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