Life, In Absentia
While training for my marathon, I have discovered a few things that happen to my body after I do twelve-mile runs or above. First, my knees can only take so much abuse before responding in accordance. Second, running makes me quite sleepy, but for some reason I cannot sleep. Third, nipples on men cause nothing but pain (runners understand exactly what I’m talking about). Most importantly, though, I’ve discovered that my consciousness vanishes for the rest of the day.
It is not that I cannot perform my daily functions after a run. I can go to grocery store, do my laundry and watch TV just like everyone else. These actions, though, seem like I am viewing them from a third person perspective. They happen as if I am only watching and not in full control.
This is not the only time one can experience “selflessness” in the non-charitable sense of the word. Writers speak of sex as a time when humans are non-sentient. The term “to die for” alludes to the losing of oneself during orgasm. “Seduction” speaks of the body’s will triumphing over the control of the mind.
Being intoxicated by alcohol or some other drug also seems to bring out a human auto-pilot. I have always been surprised and intrigued at how clever and social I am when I am drunk. This may only be an impression I get while inebriated (in fact, I’m almost sure of it). None-the-less, I, like many, prefer the control of the drunken alter ego on occasion to handle a social situation. He often does a better job than I do. Though, I am also shocked and fearful of the super-drunk alter ego who can embarrass me and reveal things about my id that I may have not wanted to know.
Panic is another time when the thoughtless animal takes full control of body. Both times when I was mugged, the panicked version of myself screamed like a little girl and ran. There was no time for thought or rationality. My body acted automatically, decisively and perhaps for the best.
What is interesting is that losing oneself is often preferred. Actors, dancers and baseball players often enter a “zone”. Procrastinators know about the late-night phantom of productivity. The depressed let the non-contemplative pass the painful time. Thought, analysis and the self can actually hinder success from time to time.
When these times come, we let Mr. Hyde take over so that Dr. Jekyll can enjoy the fruits of Hyde’s success. Hyde’s actions are good enough “to die for” and Jekyll can only look back on these actions in retrospect, posthumously.
It is not that I cannot perform my daily functions after a run. I can go to grocery store, do my laundry and watch TV just like everyone else. These actions, though, seem like I am viewing them from a third person perspective. They happen as if I am only watching and not in full control.
This is not the only time one can experience “selflessness” in the non-charitable sense of the word. Writers speak of sex as a time when humans are non-sentient. The term “to die for” alludes to the losing of oneself during orgasm. “Seduction” speaks of the body’s will triumphing over the control of the mind.
Being intoxicated by alcohol or some other drug also seems to bring out a human auto-pilot. I have always been surprised and intrigued at how clever and social I am when I am drunk. This may only be an impression I get while inebriated (in fact, I’m almost sure of it). None-the-less, I, like many, prefer the control of the drunken alter ego on occasion to handle a social situation. He often does a better job than I do. Though, I am also shocked and fearful of the super-drunk alter ego who can embarrass me and reveal things about my id that I may have not wanted to know.
Panic is another time when the thoughtless animal takes full control of body. Both times when I was mugged, the panicked version of myself screamed like a little girl and ran. There was no time for thought or rationality. My body acted automatically, decisively and perhaps for the best.
What is interesting is that losing oneself is often preferred. Actors, dancers and baseball players often enter a “zone”. Procrastinators know about the late-night phantom of productivity. The depressed let the non-contemplative pass the painful time. Thought, analysis and the self can actually hinder success from time to time.
When these times come, we let Mr. Hyde take over so that Dr. Jekyll can enjoy the fruits of Hyde’s success. Hyde’s actions are good enough “to die for” and Jekyll can only look back on these actions in retrospect, posthumously.
posted by American Dilettante at
3:55 PM
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