The One Conversation

My Labor Day weekend reminded me, once again, of the odd yet widespread practice of paying attention to a topic once and then “moving on”. I arrived in Chicago and saw old friends and told them briefly of what I had been doing in the many months since I had seen them last. After that, my life never came up again. I returned to DC and told my friends about my Labor Day fun and, again, the topic never came up again.

This moving on was not because more interesting topics came up. It was not because I explained every event or every detail either. Plenty of ground could have been covered and huge, relevant events were missed and not touched upon. My feelings, my insight or simply elaboration could have sustained these newly old topics, but, alas, old topics are rarely revisited.

The most extreme example of this came when I returned from China at the age of 23. After a year in Shanghai, I had experienced enough to write volumes about. People politely asked me “how was China?” Not knowing where to start on such a massive question, I responded with simply “really different”. After a few short anecdotes, the conversation shifted and was never again revisited. It was an entire year, unable to be shared (much like my other twenty-seven).

This phenomenon occurs elsewhere as well. Many people complain that important stories are only covered for one day in the media. After that one day, they are no longer “news” and are no longer interesting. The public quickly forgets about the issue and moves on. On the other hand, types of stories that have on going changes like Scott Peterson, Bush vs. Gore and hurricane Katrina get daily, and thus, massive attention.

Why does humanity do this to itself? Why does it pass on potentially fascinating and useful subjects that have depth in favor of ever-changing shallow subjects? Why do people go straight for the sports page rather than reading an in depth article on troubles in Africa?

Mental fatigue may play a large role. There is only so much a mind can take on at once. Ever-changing subjects remind people of a background and slowly build off that. Vast, new subjects tire people with confusing and distant ideas. Empathy may play another large role. People cannot to relate to a huge, sudden and abstract event, but can relate to slow-changing every-day occurrences.

Over all, though, the phenomenon of “moving on” shows that the practice of conversation is rather insular. People seem to join in conversations not for new information, but to hear about things they already know about (or at least mostly know about). People want verification of the observations they have made about the universe and not confusing information about life’s frontiers.

Banal shared experience trumps the life of a voyager. The slight variations of the daily grind entertain society for millennia, but the greatest of adventures are only good for one conversation, if that.