Snowball
There are things in life that one can learn to love. Cigarettes and coffee, for instance, begin tasting horrible, but after repeated exposure become tolerable, then pleasurable and finally addictive. We also know this is true of many foods, hobbies and past times. Unlike the immediate and universal joy of things like chicken or ice cream, foods like horseradish and sauerkraut are famously “acquired tastes”. Dramas and sports begin confusing and boring, but soon become fascinating and fun. Even golf for many becomes something to love after repeated, repeated exposure.
Most importantly, we know this is true of people. The time we spend with someone gives rise to familiarity, friendship and loyalty. Families force themselves to sit down for dinners, holidays and church. To what end? To build a stronger family. Girlfriends and wives insist boyfriends and husbands spend more and more time with them. To what end? To build a stronger relationship.
This process of building a relationship is in many ways a competition for dependency. Say an individual begins with friends. These friends become good friends because the individual spends most of his or her free time with them and they naturally become the emotional outlet for the individual. Because of these friends are an emotional outlet and because so much time is spent with them, the individual feels loyalty towards them and an obligation to spend even more time with them. Left to its own device, this feedback loop would continue and good friends would become better and better friends.
Human beings, though, have gonads, thus enter the phenomenon of the significant other. In pursuit of sex and romantic companionship, less time is spent with the good friends. Soon they fall from being good friends to being just friends. With less time together, the individual feels more awkward spilling his or her heart out to them so the individual switches to using the significant other. Less time with friends yields less emotional use and less emotional use yields less obligation to spend time. The significant other, on the other hand, gains time, gains emotional use, gains loyalty and gains more obligation for time to be spent with. This feedback loop continuous until the friends become acquaintances and the significant other becomes a spouse.
In many ways this snowball is like another snowball. One’s desires bring one into pursuing sexual acts. After the orgasm, though, there is something left over. What has been sowed must be reaped. And so the feedback comes back to individual, for better or for worse, in a hybrid form of sex and companionship. And all of this for a mysterious and unknown purpose.
Jerry Seinfield said this about exercise:
“Going to the health club, you see all these people and they're working out, and they're training and they're getting in shape but the strange thing is nobody is really getting in shape for anything. The only reason that you're getting in shape is that so you can get through the workout. So we're working out, so that we'll be in shape, for when we have to do our exercise. This is the whole thing.”
The relationship, in all of its forms, is much the same way. We spend time together to build a strong relationship so we are able to spend time together. This is the whole thing.
Most importantly, we know this is true of people. The time we spend with someone gives rise to familiarity, friendship and loyalty. Families force themselves to sit down for dinners, holidays and church. To what end? To build a stronger family. Girlfriends and wives insist boyfriends and husbands spend more and more time with them. To what end? To build a stronger relationship.
This process of building a relationship is in many ways a competition for dependency. Say an individual begins with friends. These friends become good friends because the individual spends most of his or her free time with them and they naturally become the emotional outlet for the individual. Because of these friends are an emotional outlet and because so much time is spent with them, the individual feels loyalty towards them and an obligation to spend even more time with them. Left to its own device, this feedback loop would continue and good friends would become better and better friends.
Human beings, though, have gonads, thus enter the phenomenon of the significant other. In pursuit of sex and romantic companionship, less time is spent with the good friends. Soon they fall from being good friends to being just friends. With less time together, the individual feels more awkward spilling his or her heart out to them so the individual switches to using the significant other. Less time with friends yields less emotional use and less emotional use yields less obligation to spend time. The significant other, on the other hand, gains time, gains emotional use, gains loyalty and gains more obligation for time to be spent with. This feedback loop continuous until the friends become acquaintances and the significant other becomes a spouse.
In many ways this snowball is like another snowball. One’s desires bring one into pursuing sexual acts. After the orgasm, though, there is something left over. What has been sowed must be reaped. And so the feedback comes back to individual, for better or for worse, in a hybrid form of sex and companionship. And all of this for a mysterious and unknown purpose.
Jerry Seinfield said this about exercise:
“Going to the health club, you see all these people and they're working out, and they're training and they're getting in shape but the strange thing is nobody is really getting in shape for anything. The only reason that you're getting in shape is that so you can get through the workout. So we're working out, so that we'll be in shape, for when we have to do our exercise. This is the whole thing.”
The relationship, in all of its forms, is much the same way. We spend time together to build a strong relationship so we are able to spend time together. This is the whole thing.
posted by American Dilettante at
3:14 PM
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