Insecurity
When a man buys a sports car or a Hummer, it is said he does it for ego. A man is insecure, thus he attempts to make himself feel secure through acquisition.
Emotional insecurity is an odd concept. With social security or physical security, there are clearly things at risk. A tragedy can occur taking away someone’s income or life. The acquisition of a system or objects can actually protect against this loss. The threat is real and the protection is real.
With emotional insecurity, the threat is bogus and the protection is bogus.
I remember an old episode of Seinfeld where a woman spitefully accuses Jerry of not being a man. “Well, then, what are all those ties and sport jackets doing in my closet?” he replied. The woman attempted to play on Jerry’s insecurity, but Jerry clearly had no insecurity. Ironically, his response is so logical that it is ridiculous.
Yet, few, if any, of us can achieve grasping something so logical. We all feel insecure about our social status, our masculinity and femininity, our attractiveness level and our intellect. Objectively, we are clearly loved, members of our gender, attractive and smart to someone (most of us that is), yet we feel we are not.
Even more illogical is our resolution. We acquire objects, take on lifestyles and change our behaviors in order to fool others and ourselves into thinking that we are what we probably already are. Does having Ulysses on the shelf or cooking Foie Gros make one intelligent? Does sleeping with women make one attractive? Does being a soldier make one a man? Clearly, the answer is no yet these objects and actions are used for faux confirmations.
But, this how we live. It may be that person with absolute confidence would have no ambition. Why prove what you already know? This response is so logical that it is ridiculous. Instead, we all strive every day because we fear we do not have the will to.
Emotional insecurity is an odd concept. With social security or physical security, there are clearly things at risk. A tragedy can occur taking away someone’s income or life. The acquisition of a system or objects can actually protect against this loss. The threat is real and the protection is real.
With emotional insecurity, the threat is bogus and the protection is bogus.
I remember an old episode of Seinfeld where a woman spitefully accuses Jerry of not being a man. “Well, then, what are all those ties and sport jackets doing in my closet?” he replied. The woman attempted to play on Jerry’s insecurity, but Jerry clearly had no insecurity. Ironically, his response is so logical that it is ridiculous.
Yet, few, if any, of us can achieve grasping something so logical. We all feel insecure about our social status, our masculinity and femininity, our attractiveness level and our intellect. Objectively, we are clearly loved, members of our gender, attractive and smart to someone (most of us that is), yet we feel we are not.
Even more illogical is our resolution. We acquire objects, take on lifestyles and change our behaviors in order to fool others and ourselves into thinking that we are what we probably already are. Does having Ulysses on the shelf or cooking Foie Gros make one intelligent? Does sleeping with women make one attractive? Does being a soldier make one a man? Clearly, the answer is no yet these objects and actions are used for faux confirmations.
But, this how we live. It may be that person with absolute confidence would have no ambition. Why prove what you already know? This response is so logical that it is ridiculous. Instead, we all strive every day because we fear we do not have the will to.
posted by American Dilettante at
11:08 AM
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