The Trials of an American Dilettante

Thursday, January 20, 2005

The Titi and the Caca

I have few worldly inisghts today- only tales from abroad. I went to Lake Titicaca and now understand its name. I got on a boat and saw some people that lived in a city built on reeds (pretty neat) and I got to see a beautiful lake on a wonderfully sunny day. I had a great lunch with some fresh fish though I passed on the coca tea. There were good laughs with interesting people. It was some serious Titi.

Then the storm hit. The boat rocked back and forth. At first, people were calm. Then an Argentinian woman started screaming. Another started puking. People began to panic. The Peruvian crew had a look of dread in their eyes. (by the way, there were only 10 life vests for 30 people. Not that it would have mattered since we would have died from hypotermia in the lake anyway). This rocking and splashing and allusion to The Perfect Storm continued for about two hours. The youngest member of the crew suddenly yelled "agua, agua!". Was the boat taking water? The crew dashed towards the steaming engine knocking people over. They began to pour water over and in it. Apparently, the rocking of the boat had knocked most of the water out of the engine and it was now overheating. People's panic was in full swing. The storm passed and everyone calmed down, but it was definitely the Caca.

Also, I'm massively sunburned. With the cold and the altitude, its imposible to gauge how much sun is enough. Should I try guinea pig and llama? Probably.

Friday, January 14, 2005

My Endless Crowing about Vacation

In mere hours, I shall vacate DC and trek off to a sunnier location. For those who use my blog as a mini-vacation, you may need to wait until February 1st for my return. I recommend to everyone to create vacancies in their homes and jobs and to journey off to the unknown as well. Oh, many believe that the world will not run with a vacuum in their place, but I assure you all that vacuity is not just possible, but necessary. Vacua allow for people to miss a person and also allow for people to live without that person. One’s co-workers, family and loved ones will simultaneously long for one’s presence while becoming more able to live without it. While one grows and changes abroad, they grow and change at home. One returns to a newer environment than when one left. Without vacation, I dare say, people become vacuous.

Now, the first inhabitants of Machu Picchu probably did not consider the benefits of vacation when they were hauling those boulders up and around the mountains, but it would be neat if they did.

“Father, why are we hauling rocks up this peak? This is difficult and monotonous work”
“Son, long after we die, this city will be forgotten. But after four hundred years, it shall be unearthed. Millions from distant lands shall rest from their labors to marvel at our labors. Selling food, shelter and memorabilia to these pilgrims will feed millions of our descendents for more than a hundreds of years.”

Perhaps in five centuries or five millennia, our cities will be unearthed. Billions will come and look at our labyrinths of “cubicles”. Ahh, the great American Empire. It was a society that built a “computer” system that linked each of it citizens to a one another so they could do work. They would spend between 8 and 14 hours a day in these boxes staring at screens pushing “keys” with their fingers. The crowd will be amazed.

Little children will sell Dilbert “statues”, a god of comedy, whose image appears in almost a third of all cubes. The future affluent will feel guilty because these poor children will likely die before the age of 150 so the rich will purchase the over-priced brick-brack. The Dilbert idols will return with the tourist to their living rooms and the pretentious tourists will talk about how quaint Terra was. “If only Titan had the culture and history of Terra. They seem to value family much more back on the home planet, don’t they?” It will be an odd compliment of Terran culture coming from an individual who will having the practice of rolling up the window of their space cruiser every time they pass through the Terran part of town on Titan.

So much work over time and for what end? To become a tourist sight? Maybe if we’re lucky. I can only hope that one day someone will look down on the remains of cube and understand their life better. He may realize that he doesn’t have to be an asteroid mining consultant like everyone else. Maybe he’ll realize his dream and move to Neptune for a few decades. After all, he may be a young 40-year-old fresh out of university and I imagine Neptune women will be pretty fucking hot.

Monday, January 10, 2005

My Endless Complaining about Vocation

A few weeks ago, I started a new job and, surprise, surprise, the job is rather boring and not that fulfilling. I come home exhausted after a day of doing jack shit just like every other job I’ve ever had in my life and just like everyone else in the country it seems. Are the unhappy workers of the world missing something? Are we in the wrong field? Will anything satisfy us? Even presidents, actors and porn stars seem unhappy with their professions.

Red from That 70’s Show would say "That's why they call it WORK! If it was enjoyable, it would be called Happy Fun Time!” Though the hack writer who came up with Red’s dialog (and who doesn’t seem to know what the subjunctive is) has a point, the point is a little simplistic. “Work”, for the most part, is not actually work. It is a whole lot of sitting around doing nothing pretending you are doing work. The universally loved Office Space is certainly a better portrayal of what “work” actually is.

Now, some people claim that their days are busy and I believe them to some extent. They fill their days with meetings, reviews and discussions about work. Again, though, this is not really work. It is just being busy, which is merely a better guise for work than surfing the net all day.

Some claim that they do produce things (figures, reports, etc.) yet often these figures are not used. Others, with their free time, research things and go to training sessions that will never be used towards their job. Again, this is not work in the strictest sense of the word. Work is Force times Distance. One can put in effort, but unless actual progress is made, no work has been done. If I dig a whole and then fill it in, I have done zero work even though my back is sore.

Many think the unhappy worker complains too much. They suggest the unhappy worker either stop complaining or stop working. I know from being unemployed that not working stinks as much as working. One becomes bored, lethargic and feels guilty about not working. Working is superior to not working, fore when one works, one has money.

Others say that the unhappy worker should switch jobs. Though, working stinks, I recognize my job is pretty good in the grand scheme of things and I certainly would not want many of my friends’ jobs. Just as there is good pizza (or sex) and bad pizza (or sex), but it’s all pizza (or sex) which is pretty good, there are good jobs and there are sucky jobs, but they are all jobs and that sucks.

So why does work suck so much and how can one make it better? First, I think people like to see results for work which is less and less possible in a world of abstract services. I’m a bloody analyst. What can I hold in my hands and say I created? Zilch. Building sand castles, on the other hand, is quite rewarding even though they get washed away. A focus on “producing” something rather than just “doing” something will probably improve life. Second, change is important. Most jobs are repetitive. Here’s a good Angel quote from the Host:

"It's like a song. Now, I can hold a note for a long time- actually I can hold a note forever, but eventually that's just noise. It's the change we're listening for. The note coming after, and the one after that. That's what makes it music."

Monday, January 03, 2005

Monogamy: A Side Effect of Fewer Choices?

I have noticed three things that occur when one leaves an academic environment. First, the number of fresh faces in your life significantly drops. Second, people have the tendency to be more monogamous. Third, breakups often lead to reconciliation. I may be jumping to conclusions, but the three seem to have a something to do with each other.

Let’s go back in time for a moment. When I nineteen years old, I was traveling through Spain and met two Americans in their late twenties having third-life-crises. They had quit their law firms, divorced their wives and were off to teach English in the Czech Republic after traveling first. One of them told me a single piece of advice to remember. (On a side note, when you give advice, make it one piece. People remember it!). The young guru’s advice was this:

“After you finish college or law school or med school or B school or grad school or whatever, you’ll notice a lot of your friends marrying the girlfriends or boyfriends they happen to have at the time. You’ll feel compelled to do the same. Whatever you do, don’t marry that person!”

It was an interesting warning that has stuck with me (though the fellow’s name and face have escaped me). For a number of years, I assumed that the desire to marry after a graduation came from either peer pressure, the convenience of being finished with school or just because it is a period of change. Eight and half years after my trip to Spain, now in my late twenties myself, I think I have realized that there is something else to it.

Nearly every one of my friends is in a relationship that at one time was broken up. (Snazzler, Stupid Skeleton, Gus Fuckberg, Shoffy, Soulless Hedonist, Clunt and Matty Potter all are in relationships that were once broken up). I, too, feel the desire of wanting to call my ex-girlfriend up. Why do people want to get back together when experience tells them differently? Well, every relationship breaks up from it not working on some level, but, on a more cynical level, everyone breaks up because they think they can do better. If everyone breaks up because they think they can do better, then the reverse must also be true. People get back together because they fear they cannot do better.

Why this change? Why do people feel confident that they can do better and then change their mind? The most obvious answer is they went off into the world to find nothing, became lonely and insecure and came running back. After all, when you are out of school, where do you meet people? Bars and clubs? God, no! Work? Not too many choices. Friends? Couples are mostly friends with couples. While school is a place with hundreds of people your age in your social class, the working world is not. Thus, in school, people meet, break up, cheat and move on to the next person with more frequency than in the working world.

So, perhaps that’s it. Monogamy could be nothing more than having fewer options, fewer temptations and fewer stokes to your ego. But what to do? Must we all settle? Well, that American in Spain seemed to think that one should keep trying and keep hoping. You have to suffer through the loneliness to find someone new. After all, you can’t steal second with your foot still on first.