The Schizophrenic Next Door and Within

In case you didn’t know, Friendster and MySpace are incredible tools for stalking. In many ways, they are better than Googling someone and this is especially true for my socio-economic class and circle of acquaintances. A Google will lead to a trillion pages about people with similar names (various high school track stars and a carpentry teacher come up when Googling my name). If your stalkee has an account with Friendster (like nearly everyone I went to college with) or with MySpace,(like nearly everyone I went to high school with), you get to learn all about them and see what they’ve been up to.

So, I typed in my brother’s name the other day and found some of his accounts online. Now, I’ve never been too close with my brother. He’s five years older and, frankly, is pretty mean (at least to me and the rest of my family). My mother thinks he’s a hermit and my sister thinks he’s a dick. Obviously, we love him and all of that crap, but we’re kind of genetically predisposed to do that. To my surprise, I find he has written this about himself:

Hey there! This is Chris: Caring, courteous. Honest.
Respectful, resilient, receptive. Intelligent, insightful.
Sensitive, and surprising. I would love to meet new,
friendly, fun people from the Milwaukee area. I am a
friendly, honest, handsome professional with a great
unscripted and comforting sense of humor. I love to chat and
listen with the right person, partake in outdoor excursions,
jog through the park, play soccer, swim, ski, hear new live
music travel to sunny locations as time allows, cook with a
melange of ingredients, and set up imaginative evenings on
the town. I'm an easy-going resident M.D. at a local medical
center, who balances a busy work and social life- and has
almost everything he needs to live life to the fullest. I'm
the best trusting friend you can ever have.

Huh?!?! Did he just call himself caring, courteous, respectful, receptive and sensitive? No he di’n’t! Enjoy exercising? Cooking? Did he just use a French word?

How can this be? Is he delusional? Perhaps. Am I? Again, perhaps.

More likely is that human beings present a different side of themselves to different people. This is not a conscience thing nor is it a personal choice. Certain people bring out aspects of one’s personality and quell other aspects. For instance, an old acquaintance, G.P., was a pretty negative and sarcastic guy. Around him, I was like him- negative and sarcastic. Around some people, I’m vulgar and, around others, I’m even tactful. Some people make me chatty and around some I cannot think of a thing to say for the life of me. Some people make me relaxed and others make my skin crawl. Around my parents I fall into the role of a child and around work I fall into the role of a worker.

This is one reason why people become rather silent and awkward when friends and family from different circles meet each other. When worlds collide, the individual is unsure how to act. Does one act like one does in World A or in World B? Unsure, the individual goes blank and acts like no one until a familiar environment is reestablished or a new persona is discovered.

So which is the real you? All of them really. This is why traveling or changing environments to “find oneself” is actually rather aptly named. By removing oneself from one sphere and entering a new sphere, one may act completely different. The lazy can become motivated and the depressed can become happy. The boring can become quirky and the closed minded can become open. All of these can happen in reverse as well, I suppose.

Like elements, each person in our lives as well as ourselves may react differently when in a new environment reacting with other elements. The result, like my brother, may be surprising.