The Zen of the Slippery Slope
It must be the millionth time that I have pointed out contradiction in the universe. When Arthur Dent found out the answer to life, the universe and everything (it was forty-two), he searched and searched for the question. The question turned out being “What do you get if you multiply six by nine?” To that Arthur said “I've always felt that there was something fundamentally wrong with the universe”
Like Arthur, we have in our mind the concept that there is perfection. Each of us believes there is someone for us that will make us happy. But, when it comes to finding mister or misses forty-two, we are not really sure what to look for. Oh, we may say that we want someone that is attractive, smart, funny and kind in the abstract. Specifics, though, are rather elusive. I believe that one of the reasons for this is that our desires in relationships contradict each other and that imperfection itself is essential. (six by nine, indeed)
For example, Soulless Hedonist complains that the reason Big-Ass-African-Fucking-Pretentious-Girl dumped him is that he gave into too many demands. In the end, he did everything she wanted and appeared spineless. No one wants to be with someone who is spineless (save Shoffy’s bane).
Why so? Well, for several reasons really. First off, everyone is insecure (see December’s “Occasionally Nice Guys Finish First”). People judge their own self-worth by the confidence and presented self-worth of their significant other. Additionally, people don’t want to be part of club that would have them as a member.
Also, people want a challenge. It is often said that women want a “fixer-uper”. For the same reason that a video game becomes boring after saving Zelda, people become bored with relationships as well. At the same time, when one some tries and fails to get higher than 300,000 points in Ms. Pac-Man over and over, one also becomes disillusioned. The unyielding and unchanging mate is intolerable. Damned if you do, damned if do not, how can one achieve happiness in a relationship?
As it turns out, Arthur was wrong. Six by nine is forty-two. The solution takes some thinking outside the box. In a base thirteen number system, the answer holds.
Just as I have argued that happiness is nothing more than gradual fulfillment of needs, I would say that relationship happiness is nothing more than gradual concession of freedom (and thus fulfilling their needs). If one changes completely to fit one’s significant other, one will be dumped. If one does not change or change too slowly, one will be dumped. A constant challenge is needed, but not a challenge so great that that the companion gives up on the individual. One’s only hope is to change at a moderate rate in order to maintain the relationship. One must hope that they do not run out of concessions until after one has secured the relationship through marriage or kids.
Impractical? Perhaps, but not more than a base thirteen number system.
Like Arthur, we have in our mind the concept that there is perfection. Each of us believes there is someone for us that will make us happy. But, when it comes to finding mister or misses forty-two, we are not really sure what to look for. Oh, we may say that we want someone that is attractive, smart, funny and kind in the abstract. Specifics, though, are rather elusive. I believe that one of the reasons for this is that our desires in relationships contradict each other and that imperfection itself is essential. (six by nine, indeed)
For example, Soulless Hedonist complains that the reason Big-Ass-African-Fucking-Pretentious-Girl dumped him is that he gave into too many demands. In the end, he did everything she wanted and appeared spineless. No one wants to be with someone who is spineless (save Shoffy’s bane).
Why so? Well, for several reasons really. First off, everyone is insecure (see December’s “Occasionally Nice Guys Finish First”). People judge their own self-worth by the confidence and presented self-worth of their significant other. Additionally, people don’t want to be part of club that would have them as a member.
Also, people want a challenge. It is often said that women want a “fixer-uper”. For the same reason that a video game becomes boring after saving Zelda, people become bored with relationships as well. At the same time, when one some tries and fails to get higher than 300,000 points in Ms. Pac-Man over and over, one also becomes disillusioned. The unyielding and unchanging mate is intolerable. Damned if you do, damned if do not, how can one achieve happiness in a relationship?
As it turns out, Arthur was wrong. Six by nine is forty-two. The solution takes some thinking outside the box. In a base thirteen number system, the answer holds.
Just as I have argued that happiness is nothing more than gradual fulfillment of needs, I would say that relationship happiness is nothing more than gradual concession of freedom (and thus fulfilling their needs). If one changes completely to fit one’s significant other, one will be dumped. If one does not change or change too slowly, one will be dumped. A constant challenge is needed, but not a challenge so great that that the companion gives up on the individual. One’s only hope is to change at a moderate rate in order to maintain the relationship. One must hope that they do not run out of concessions until after one has secured the relationship through marriage or kids.
Impractical? Perhaps, but not more than a base thirteen number system.
posted by American Dilettante at
4:20 PM
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