What About the Unresilient?
My last blog entry was surprisingly met with quite a bit of disagreement. While my friends agreed that many people and perhaps most people get over things, there are others that have trouble doing this and truly remain unhappy. I was presented with numerous examples of individuals stuck in ruts who are miserable.
Fo mentioned her friend, Jamie, a gay man who has been in love with a straight man for 15 years and is currently devastated by the fact that the man is getting married. Soulless Hedonist mentioned his uncle who never got over his divorce and eventually took his own life. And I remembered Taiwan Steve's mom who is still haunted by nightmares of Steve's suicide six years after the fact. If we go back to the study about paralyzed people and their happiness, we see that three of the victims refused to fill out the survey. While the other victims moved on and got better, perhaps it was too painful for these three to even comment on their lives.
What makes one person resilient and another not-so-resilient?
Soulless Hedonist had this to say:
"You're going to hate this answer, but it depends. It depends on the person and the circumstances. Some people are biologically more depressed than others and more prone to dwell and be depressed. Some people are still young and can think about the future and hope while some are old and resigned to their condition Some people have greater opportunities and some people live in a changing world and can move on to new things in their lives. Others are stuck in their town and city with their regular acquaintances and reminders."
Soulless Hedonist's uncle was a biologically depressed man and couldn't move on. Taiwan Steve's mom was an older retired home maker with few distractions or hopes for the future. Jamie is a school teacher in New York with no aspirations of doing anything new. Whether it was biology, circumstance or choice, they just couldn't move on.
But, thankfully, these are still exceptions to the rule. All around us, there are those who have dropped out, in way or another. We have cat ladies who have given up on finding companionship, unemployed who have given up on finding work, and obese who have given up on being healthy. And maybe there are those who have given up on trying to be happy. Maybe it was biology, maybe it was circumstance, maybe it was choice. The unresilient do exist.
For the most part, though, people still try and people still live with hope. Hopefully, we never fall into the unresilient group.
Fo mentioned her friend, Jamie, a gay man who has been in love with a straight man for 15 years and is currently devastated by the fact that the man is getting married. Soulless Hedonist mentioned his uncle who never got over his divorce and eventually took his own life. And I remembered Taiwan Steve's mom who is still haunted by nightmares of Steve's suicide six years after the fact. If we go back to the study about paralyzed people and their happiness, we see that three of the victims refused to fill out the survey. While the other victims moved on and got better, perhaps it was too painful for these three to even comment on their lives.
What makes one person resilient and another not-so-resilient?
Soulless Hedonist had this to say:
"You're going to hate this answer, but it depends. It depends on the person and the circumstances. Some people are biologically more depressed than others and more prone to dwell and be depressed. Some people are still young and can think about the future and hope while some are old and resigned to their condition Some people have greater opportunities and some people live in a changing world and can move on to new things in their lives. Others are stuck in their town and city with their regular acquaintances and reminders."
Soulless Hedonist's uncle was a biologically depressed man and couldn't move on. Taiwan Steve's mom was an older retired home maker with few distractions or hopes for the future. Jamie is a school teacher in New York with no aspirations of doing anything new. Whether it was biology, circumstance or choice, they just couldn't move on.
But, thankfully, these are still exceptions to the rule. All around us, there are those who have dropped out, in way or another. We have cat ladies who have given up on finding companionship, unemployed who have given up on finding work, and obese who have given up on being healthy. And maybe there are those who have given up on trying to be happy. Maybe it was biology, maybe it was circumstance, maybe it was choice. The unresilient do exist.
For the most part, though, people still try and people still live with hope. Hopefully, we never fall into the unresilient group.
posted by American Dilettante at
2:14 PM
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