The Trials of an American Dilettante

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Life: a zero sum game?

So my sister is married off and all of the work and stress that I had to endure involving helping her and my parents is finished (everyone, please forgive my lack of blogs). Thank God I only have one sister. I know my parents are thanking God they only have one daughter (and we’re all atheists!). All of the stories about the hell of wedding planning are true. I highly recommend eloping.

Because I am the social one, I had to entertain my numerous relatives in addition to all the lifting, carrying and organizing. So, late nights out in Baltimore drinking with cousins were followed my early mornings of helter skelter with my nuclear family. Morning Preston was very angry at night Preston.

I am traveling this evening for work and did not need to go in to the office so I slept in today.

Wow.

And I mean wow!

Yes, sleep can be better than sex.

A new man arose. Calm, collected, sharp and feelin’ good. This makes me wonder if all that sleep deprivation was worth the joy I am experiencing today in being well rested.

Is all the enjoyment in the world simply pain relief? There is an old joke about a man hitting his head against the wall and when asked why he is doing it, he responds “because it feels good when I stop”. This seems to be the case with a number joys. The pain of aching muscles precedes the joy of a massage. The pain of hunger precedes the joy of eating. The pain of horniness precedes the joy of sex. For each release, there is a built up of tension before it.

Now not all joy is simply of a payment for pain. There seems to be joy that is taken out on a loan as well. Running and jumping and all the fun one gets being physical will one day be matched by a day when one cannot move do to age. Love is matched by the inevitable end of love through abandonment, breakup or death. The beauty of the world will one day be replaced with a state of forgetfulness and confusion.

Ashes to ashes, indeed. In a quantitative sense, life does seem to be a zero sum game. We know that everything we will accumulate and gain in this world will one day be lost and that includes the material, mental and personal.

So, what is the point? Well, perhaps the point of life is not gain.

Every year summer comes and goes and winter comes and goes. It is predictable and equalizing just like life, love and death. And I like it. I like the change and I like the ups and downs even if I am Even Steven in the end. I know the ending, but it is interesting seeing how I will get there.

Kind of like Revenge of the Sith.

1 Comments:

  • "Morning Preston was very angry at night Preston."

    I think you might still be sleep deprived - we know your real name now!

    Preston ... how appropriate for a prep school product

    By Blogger mizerock, at 1:57 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home