Programmed

Snowed in Sunday, I watched Whit Stillman’s “Last Days of Disco.” Though void of a plot, sympathetic characters or anything resembling an homage to disco, the movie had a few cute scenes with some lofty life questions to contemplate. It was no “Barcelona”, but I sort-of enjoyed it. Although, I can’t think of too many other people who would like it at all.

A common theme of movie is the idea that we are programmed from a young age to be a certain way. An environmental lawyer mentions the perhaps that entire environmental movement was caused by “Bambi.” A nation of little kids witnessed the hunter shooting Bambi’s mom and, a score later, the environmental movement comes along. Another character worries that “Lady and Tramp” was teaching girls to be vacuous and to be attracted to assholes.

How significant are these early exposures to entertainment? There are a few things that I might have been affected by growing up. I think I hate clowns from seeing “Poltergeist” at a young age as well as cockroaches from seeing “Creepshow.” Then again, those things are naturally scary anyway. That’s why they were chosen to be in horror movies in the first place. I have absolutely no fear of snakes despite their repeated presence in entertainment. So, who knows…

More than anything else, at a young age, I was exposed to aliens, space ships and robots. Star Wars, the Masters of the Universe, Transformers and Voltron dominated my impressionable mind and those of my peers. Yet, society has no real improvements in space travel or robotics since my youth. There are no flying cars, laser pistols or cybernetic pets. The closest thing we have is a computer and communication revolution that has us all looking downward at pdfs and mp3s instead of upwards at space stations. I don’t remember childhood idols like Luke, Adam, Optimus Prime or Keith wasting countless hours checking e-mail and deleting spam.

In the end of “Disco,” the characters learn that they may have been programmed at a young age, but it didn’t matter too much. Stronger social forces push their direction more than anything else. One character, fearing she’s a prude, tries to sleep around only catch herpes. The affliction forces her back into an exclusive relationship. Another character wonders if he is happy in a relationship, but a job takes him to away from that relationship before he makes the decision for himself. A third character, though perhaps mentally unstable, is now able to live a normal life thanks to modern medication. None of them are at the mercy of their internal desires and personalities, but all of them are at the mercy of the winds of social change and luck.

The characters do not even know if they truly like disco. The movement is ripped from them before any of them chooses to abandon it. Furthermore, the characters do not know even if they like each other. They are thrust in and out of each other’s company by a larger forces and great deal of luck (where one went to college, economic forces, who happens to be in the club on a particular evening). There is a great deal of talk about controlling one’s destiny, yet no one is able to.

Though I find in real life people are slightly more decisive and a lot less introspective than in “Disco,” the movie makes an interesting point. We look often inward and strive to improve, change and mask ourselves. Perhaps we are all programmed and full of baggage, complexes and fetishes. Whether or not we can escape our programming is an interesting question, but dwarfed by larger forces. We may have control over ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we have control over our destiny.

Authenticity

Recently I saw the trailer for the upcoming movie “300” about the Spartan and Persian battle at Thermopylae in 480 BC. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDiUG52ZyHQ
Like any other historical movie (or non-historical movie, really), the movie spends considerable effort on certain aspects of filming to create an illusion of realism while ignoring other aspects of realism.

For instance, clearly a massive amount of time, money and effort was spent on sets and costumes to make the characters look “authentically” Spartan or Persian. Additionally, the actors have clearly spent hours and hours working out to make themselves look athletic. Some actors probably put in extra effort to read about their roles to learn about the mindset of an ancient soldier. In the end, it produces a pretty rad lookin’ movie that feels “authentic.”

Oddly, audiences care about certain aspects of realism and yet they let others slide. Obviously, the Spartans and Persians didn’t speak English and I am sure certain aspects of the story are changed. This is all for practicality, though. For pacing and communication, it is understandable that these changes are made just as its understandable that science fiction movies have sound in space to create excitement.

Still, it is funny that movies never focus on other aspects of authenticity that would be easy to include. It is doubtful that any Spartan or Persian had such nice teeth. It is doubtful they had waxed chests or bulging pectoral muscles, which are fairly useless athletically. None of them were probably over 5’ 8” and few looked like models. Audiences allow for these kinds of anachronisms, but if a single Spartan were wearing glasses, we would scoff.

When actors did their research, none probably went on a strict diet of millet or drank watered down wine. They probably didn’t look into rickets, malaria or any of the other diseases that were part of every day life. Few probably even considered that their character was illiterate with twelve dead siblings.

Yet, the audience allows certain mistakes because the rest feels authentic. It is like a fancy Chinese or Indian restaurant. We have a broad idea of what our own culture is and what we are presented seems as if it is not of our culture. We know that, logically, there is nothing of such high quality in that foreign country, but we ignore that. Few really want truly authentic foreign food- it probably tastes bad and one might get sick. And I suppose no one really wants to look at ugly, toothless, sickly, short Spartans and Persians either, despite that being truly authentic.

In the end, most people are comfortable with their own time and their own culture. People like eating fake Chinese food and fake Indian food that is really American food, but feels like foreign food. People like watching fake history with modern players that is a modern movie, but feels like its historical.

Re

People are often weary of doing things again. Sequels rarely measure up to the original. Ideas become trite. Reconciled relationships usually do not stayed reconciled. The cynic reminds us that experience usually trumps hope.

In truth, though, revision is the lifeblood of everything that is of quality. Artists, writers and performers mull over their work dozens of times until it is perfect. They understand that no one can create perfection the first time through. Whether it is Shakespeare, Mozart or Michelangelo, their work is filled with mistakes and reworking.

At the Academia in Florence, David stands as a masterpiece. People forget what the rest of the museum holds, though. To the left of David is a room filled with Michelangelo’s practice sculptures. Michelangelo would test things through on cheap plaster and measure distances. After several run-throughs on plaster, he would then move on to expensive marble. At the entrance to the Academia are some of his unfinished marble works. They are unfinished because he messed up. Even with careful practice, precise measurements and a massive amount genius, he faltered and wasted very expensive pieces of marble. The greatest ever still fucked up just like the rest of us.

Those that become too confident and stop revising are the ones that truly fail. We see it in the “classic” director and the sell-out band. Their new work is never as good as their older stuff. It is because they believe the hype, surround themselves with sycophants and stop going back.

Before Jamestown, there was failed Roanoke. Our Constitution had the Articles of Confederation, not to mention twenty-seven amendments. The Wright brothers spent four years crashing gliders before being credited with inventing the airplane and they kept working after that. And for those who would like a sport analogy- without rebounds, no team can win a basketball game.

The correction is a wonderful thing, really. We can all start anew in a world of forgiveness and second chances. We can all have a renaissance.

Adding a “Re” can make things even better.

Women’s Best Option: American Men

American men, with all their faults, are awesome when compared to non-American men. Sure, we tend to be fat and maybe we aren’t sexy, exotic or passionate. All things considered, though, we are clearly the superior choice. First off, we may be sexist, but we are less sexist than most men of other nationalities. When it comes to being treated as an equal with respect and liberty, women are pretty much limited to Americans, Canadians, Northern Europeans and Aussies. Can you find a non-sexist man in Latin America, the Middle East, Africa, East Asia and Southern Europe? Sure, but they will be in the minority. Chances are, going with the non-American will lead to a life of a cheating spouse or a wife-beater.

Now the second greatest quality of the American man is that he is normally circumcised. American men really do not get enough credit for this. For this alone, we should be thanked and European men should be shunned. Any time someone attempts to tell you that European or Latin American men are more romantic, you can reply, “you know what isn’t romantic? Shmegma.” This line can be easily altered to fill almost any complement of Europeans over Americans. Europe has more culture- you know what shows less culture? Europe is more cosmopolitan- you know what shouldn’t be cosmopolitan? Europe has more fair-trade food- you know what isn’t a fair trade? You name it and shmegma counters it.

With these two obvious pillars of American superiority, one may ask why 95% of the world’s women do not choose to pair themselves with American or American-like men. Obviously, location and language are huge factors. Nearly all people are limited to the choices around them, if they even have choices at all. Choosing your own mate is a very recent and predominately Western phenomenon. Other cultural barriers may be too much to overcome as well.

In other countries, there are women who do flock to the American man, but this is usually for financial reasons. In developed countries where money is less of a factor, there are groups of women who do prefer American men, but probably no more so than American women preferring non-American men in this country. These are people drawn to the “exotic” factor.

Ultimately, there are probably very few women who rationally choose American men over non-American men based on their kindness or cleanliness besides American women. Of course, American women grew up in America and, thus, are culturally biased. I imagine the majority of Saudi women or Korean women, despite living in cripplingly sexist societies, prefer their men to Americans and feel blessed to live where to do. But, that’s the weird bias of growing up somewhere. One prefers your one’s local team and one’s mother’s cooking. Maybe one can learn to ignore or even prefer sexism and shmegma.