Self-Awareness and Self-Actualization
Like Yossarian, I feel I am completely surrounded by insane people. I suppose it has always been this way. In school, there were the socially awkward, the insecure, the spazzy, the violent, the druggy, the slutty and the creepy. Everyone had their deficiencies, their disorders and their complexes and no one was “normal”. Over time, most of these people learned to solve or at least hide these problems or learned to structure their life in a way that these issues did not have a large impact on their well being.
I, like everyone, have weaknesses. Some I manage. I manage some by trying to actively change them (i.e. with my argumentativeness, I try to admit I am wrong and find compromises despite the burning desire inside me to hold my ground). I manage others by structuring my life around them (i.e. with my vulgarity, I really only talk to people that are vulgar as well).
Some I do not manage. With some I choose not to change (i.e. with my straight-forwardness, I tend to like it and it is just tough for anyone that does not like it). With others, I am just incapable of changing (i.e. I hate gum). After twenty-eight years on the planet, though, I am well aware of all of my mental “disorders”. They are, after all, part of me and I have spent a good deal of time with myself. The flaws that I do not manage have not impacted my life too severely. If they did, I may try to change them.
Once one enters the working world, personal problems are expected to have been dealt with. When office fights occur, people roll their eyes and say “have some professionalism” or “grow up”. At some point it one’s life, one should be aware of one’s weaknesses and should be able to manage them at least from the hours of 8:30 to 5:00.
So, at my age, it strikes me when I run into people with unmanaged deficiencies that do impact their lives severely. Are they unable to change? Are they unable to restructure their lives? Are they choosing not to change? Are they (gasp) unaware of the problem?
For instance, Soulless Hedonist works with an incredibly boring individual who keeps trying to engage him in conversations much to his displeasure. Is she unaware that she is boring? Is she aware, but is unable to help it? Is she aware, but does not care? Is she attempting to work on it? At least with this co-worker, she has basically structured her life around it by marrying a boring individual and participating in boring activities. Encounters with Soulless Hedonist are perhaps incidental in the grand scheme of things.
There are more glaring examples, though. What about Weakest Link’s girlfriend? Is she aware that she is condescending, not very bright and completely unfun? Is she unable to help it? Is she working on it? Is she structuring her life around it? While she has chosen to mostly hang out with other condescending, stupid and unfun people, there is the problem of Weakest Link himself. He is actually supportive, smart and fun. Is her goal to change him?
Maslow believed that human beings eventually seek “self-actualization”, that is, they have “the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming”. Said another way, it is in a human’s nature to attempt to improve the self, have spirituality, seek inner peace and reach their full potential. Maslow felt this happened only after the fulfillment of other, more basic needs relating to esteem, love, safety and physiology.
Though, I question whether Maslow’s “lower” needs can ever be fulfilled completely or in a ordinal manner, I do think that if one chooses to focus less on lower needs, there would be more time to focus on self-actualization. Ironically, in our modern world, it seems that focusing on Maslow’s final level would actually lead to greater fulfillment of the basic needs. The more self-aware, intelligent, moral and calm an individual, the more likely that individual is to be respected, loved and become successful monetarily.
Self-actualization seems to require an actual change to the self. Success in life and fulfillment of the more basic needs may only require management of the self. Management of the self definitely requires awareness of the self. Those unaware of the self and its deficiencies are all around us though. They are actually trying to so the exact opposite of what Maslow believes is human nature. They are attempting what I would call Other-Actualization. They are trying to change others around in hopes that the others will reach their potential of fulfilling them. I find this to be a futile and unenlightened way of going about things and I imagine so would Maslow.
I, like everyone, have weaknesses. Some I manage. I manage some by trying to actively change them (i.e. with my argumentativeness, I try to admit I am wrong and find compromises despite the burning desire inside me to hold my ground). I manage others by structuring my life around them (i.e. with my vulgarity, I really only talk to people that are vulgar as well).
Some I do not manage. With some I choose not to change (i.e. with my straight-forwardness, I tend to like it and it is just tough for anyone that does not like it). With others, I am just incapable of changing (i.e. I hate gum). After twenty-eight years on the planet, though, I am well aware of all of my mental “disorders”. They are, after all, part of me and I have spent a good deal of time with myself. The flaws that I do not manage have not impacted my life too severely. If they did, I may try to change them.
Once one enters the working world, personal problems are expected to have been dealt with. When office fights occur, people roll their eyes and say “have some professionalism” or “grow up”. At some point it one’s life, one should be aware of one’s weaknesses and should be able to manage them at least from the hours of 8:30 to 5:00.
So, at my age, it strikes me when I run into people with unmanaged deficiencies that do impact their lives severely. Are they unable to change? Are they unable to restructure their lives? Are they choosing not to change? Are they (gasp) unaware of the problem?
For instance, Soulless Hedonist works with an incredibly boring individual who keeps trying to engage him in conversations much to his displeasure. Is she unaware that she is boring? Is she aware, but is unable to help it? Is she aware, but does not care? Is she attempting to work on it? At least with this co-worker, she has basically structured her life around it by marrying a boring individual and participating in boring activities. Encounters with Soulless Hedonist are perhaps incidental in the grand scheme of things.
There are more glaring examples, though. What about Weakest Link’s girlfriend? Is she aware that she is condescending, not very bright and completely unfun? Is she unable to help it? Is she working on it? Is she structuring her life around it? While she has chosen to mostly hang out with other condescending, stupid and unfun people, there is the problem of Weakest Link himself. He is actually supportive, smart and fun. Is her goal to change him?
Maslow believed that human beings eventually seek “self-actualization”, that is, they have “the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming”. Said another way, it is in a human’s nature to attempt to improve the self, have spirituality, seek inner peace and reach their full potential. Maslow felt this happened only after the fulfillment of other, more basic needs relating to esteem, love, safety and physiology.
Though, I question whether Maslow’s “lower” needs can ever be fulfilled completely or in a ordinal manner, I do think that if one chooses to focus less on lower needs, there would be more time to focus on self-actualization. Ironically, in our modern world, it seems that focusing on Maslow’s final level would actually lead to greater fulfillment of the basic needs. The more self-aware, intelligent, moral and calm an individual, the more likely that individual is to be respected, loved and become successful monetarily.
Self-actualization seems to require an actual change to the self. Success in life and fulfillment of the more basic needs may only require management of the self. Management of the self definitely requires awareness of the self. Those unaware of the self and its deficiencies are all around us though. They are actually trying to so the exact opposite of what Maslow believes is human nature. They are attempting what I would call Other-Actualization. They are trying to change others around in hopes that the others will reach their potential of fulfilling them. I find this to be a futile and unenlightened way of going about things and I imagine so would Maslow.
posted by American Dilettante at
4:11 PM
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