The Mirage of Maturity
“I’m a thirty-year old boy”, said Jack. to Tyler
A few days ago I was at a happy hour and behind me was a table of fellows smoking cigars. As predicted by my friend and me, after a few minutes the cigars were only half smoked and the men looked sick. Why do people insist on doing things they clearly do not enjoy?
A day later, my friends and I went to get something to eat. We settled on Taco Bell and one of my friends grumbled. With meat, cheese and tortillas, it is hard to deny that a Taco Bell taco tastes good. Why do people insist on claiming they do not enjoy things that are clearly enjoyable?
Most would say that one needs to develop a “taste” for cigars and that people with “dignified taste” reject lesser foods like Taco Bell. I suppose I understand that if one does something over and over, it becomes less painful and more enjoyable. Whether it is skiing or bowling or eating vegetables, there is a period of discomfort associated with new experiences. Eventually, the body gets used to the new experience and even begins to enjoy them. Conversely, certain experiences, say Britney Spears’ music or eating at McDonald’s, has so much negativity associated with it, that the inherent enjoyment of it is neutralized by the psyche.
Sure, I get it, but this is all biological. There is still a social question of why we choose to make enjoyable things unenjoyable and unenjoyable things enjoyable. Why do men my age suddenly want to smoke cigars, play golf and drive BMWs when just a decade ago they wanted to smoke weed, play beer pong and drive Jeeps?
The answer is clearly the social pressure to become “mature”.
What is maturity, one may ask? Well, I came across this self-help guy, Dr.. Jerome Murray, PhD, who wrote this piece of crap: http://www.betteryou.com/maturity.htm
He basically says that the immature have volatile emotions, over-dependence on others, stimulation hunger and egocentricity. Dr. Murray is a tricky one, isn’t he? Let’s keep in mind that he is trying to sell books.
Yes, it is true that society associates the display of emotion, neediness, boredom and ego with the immature, but Murray’s sales technique is telling. He has recognized that all humans perceive themselves as “immature” by his definition. Can any of us say we are not emotional, needy, bored or egocentric? Perhaps our friends and a family would say otherwise, but everyone believes himself or herself to be immature. Preying on our insecurities, like all advertising, Murray promises to teach us maturity.
But Murray is not unique. Foie gras, opera, jazz and older lovers promise the same thing. Indulge in them and you will be mature, you will have progress of the self, you will be composed and you will be distinguished. Perhaps if one surrounds oneself with people and material objects that have grown and advanced, one will not be reminded that in the grand scheme of things, they are still that panicked, naïve, ignorant and insecure child.
The day we were born, we were frightened children. That is how we live and that is how we will die as well. There is nothing negative about this. In fact, it really just shows how large and awesome the universe is. So, save the money and avoid the cigar and the golf clubs; they won’t help.
A few days ago I was at a happy hour and behind me was a table of fellows smoking cigars. As predicted by my friend and me, after a few minutes the cigars were only half smoked and the men looked sick. Why do people insist on doing things they clearly do not enjoy?
A day later, my friends and I went to get something to eat. We settled on Taco Bell and one of my friends grumbled. With meat, cheese and tortillas, it is hard to deny that a Taco Bell taco tastes good. Why do people insist on claiming they do not enjoy things that are clearly enjoyable?
Most would say that one needs to develop a “taste” for cigars and that people with “dignified taste” reject lesser foods like Taco Bell. I suppose I understand that if one does something over and over, it becomes less painful and more enjoyable. Whether it is skiing or bowling or eating vegetables, there is a period of discomfort associated with new experiences. Eventually, the body gets used to the new experience and even begins to enjoy them. Conversely, certain experiences, say Britney Spears’ music or eating at McDonald’s, has so much negativity associated with it, that the inherent enjoyment of it is neutralized by the psyche.
Sure, I get it, but this is all biological. There is still a social question of why we choose to make enjoyable things unenjoyable and unenjoyable things enjoyable. Why do men my age suddenly want to smoke cigars, play golf and drive BMWs when just a decade ago they wanted to smoke weed, play beer pong and drive Jeeps?
The answer is clearly the social pressure to become “mature”.
What is maturity, one may ask? Well, I came across this self-help guy, Dr.. Jerome Murray, PhD, who wrote this piece of crap: http://www.betteryou.com/maturity.htm
He basically says that the immature have volatile emotions, over-dependence on others, stimulation hunger and egocentricity. Dr. Murray is a tricky one, isn’t he? Let’s keep in mind that he is trying to sell books.
Yes, it is true that society associates the display of emotion, neediness, boredom and ego with the immature, but Murray’s sales technique is telling. He has recognized that all humans perceive themselves as “immature” by his definition. Can any of us say we are not emotional, needy, bored or egocentric? Perhaps our friends and a family would say otherwise, but everyone believes himself or herself to be immature. Preying on our insecurities, like all advertising, Murray promises to teach us maturity.
But Murray is not unique. Foie gras, opera, jazz and older lovers promise the same thing. Indulge in them and you will be mature, you will have progress of the self, you will be composed and you will be distinguished. Perhaps if one surrounds oneself with people and material objects that have grown and advanced, one will not be reminded that in the grand scheme of things, they are still that panicked, naïve, ignorant and insecure child.
The day we were born, we were frightened children. That is how we live and that is how we will die as well. There is nothing negative about this. In fact, it really just shows how large and awesome the universe is. So, save the money and avoid the cigar and the golf clubs; they won’t help.
posted by American Dilettante at
3:25 PM
1 Comments:
I'm not a doctor, but I think I speak for Dr. Jerome Murray when I say ... "time to up the dosage, dude"
By
mizerock, at 3:06 PM
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